Tuesday, July 28, 2015

It's not about perfection

Strive for Progress….Not Perfection…

It's a mind set that I have struggled with most of my life.  Things are black….or white.  You either do it RIGHT or not at all.  Perfection is the goal…

But a weight loss goal is NOT about perfection…it's about the journey….and this weekend proved that to me.

I attended the Daly/Maloney/Aaron/Cooley family reunion in Westminster MA. outside Boston over the weekend and it was amazing to see all of Steve's cousins, aunts and uncles.   The irony of the weekend  was that Steve helped plan this reunion but his work schedule kept him from attending.  The magic of technology brought him into the party via FaceTime and Skype…but it was tough to be there without my husband.  All of the family made me feel very welcomed…but it's just not the same when I am not on Steve's arm.

A party such as this calls for celebration and in this Irish family…that means food and drink..and lots of it.  I came to Boston prepared to stay on program with my nutrition…but was overwhelmed by the food choices at the party.  The amazing Cupcakes, New England Clam Chowder (that's "chowdah" for those that need a lesson in the New England accent…like me), French Toast Casserole, snack food and more won the battle that I have been really good at fighting since June 15th and Destination Boot Camp.  I didn't go totally crazy…and I even had an "Indulgence Meal" planned (that is a meal I have once a week that can be literally ANYTHING I WANT)…but even with that…the eating and snack ball was rolling and I found it hard to stop.

The old me would have had a pity party.  I would have told myself that eating off plan was the end of this attempt at losing weight.  If I wasn't PERFECT with my food and nutrition….all hope was lost.

This time…it has been different.

I traveled to North Carolina on Sunday to pick up my car and my dog that my friends had graciously taken care of during my time away and decided that dinner on Sunday was where the "gravy train" stopped.  We ate healthy and got me back on track.  My friend Martha and I talked a lot about my "all or nothing" view of food and weight and nutrition and I learned a lot from this experience.

The irony of all this: I finally lost a good amount of weight when I stepped on the scale this morning and broke though to a total of 19 pounds lost.  I'm not losing weight at a rapid pace…but like in many of my races, I'm not racing the rest of the world…I am racing my best time..my best pace…and my best "me".

This journey has shown me that I have so much to learn about how food affects my life and that the true "progress" of it all is knowing it won't always be perfect.


Sunday, July 12, 2015

Food Serenity...

“From food addiction to food serenity - freedom tastes great!” 
― Vera TarmanFood Junkies: The Truth about Food Addiction

Don't say those two words…what will people think of you?? You're NOT a food addict…there is no such thing.

Oh yeah there is….

Everyone has their thing..whether its the glass of wine you have that turns into a bottle as you cook dinner to the person who has to get those 3 hours a day of workout in…all of us have SOMETHING that maaaayyyybe we take to an extreme. Workahlolic, Alcoholic, Meth head or Nicotine freak…the human animal sometimes finds comfort in the "feeling" of overindulgence….

But when you find that path that works to keep your life in balance…..Wow…it's golden…it's special…and you wanna hang on to it for the ride of your life.  It is the ride that can change your life and change the course that you thought was set in stone.

The "me" that writes this now…and the "me" that got on a plane and headed to Denver looking for answers to the ever pressing question "Will I ever get to my goal weight" are two TOTALLY different people.  Can 30 days really make a difference? I can tell you it can..and it has.

I walked into the Anshultz Health and Wellness Center with a spec of hope and a lot of pessimism.  I was at the end of my rope thinking that this weight was just a product of age and genetics.  I figured I would give ONE more thing a shot to help me get to this goal weight that was set years ago but may not be attainable.  I have even had doctors tell me that I should be happy with the huge weight loss that I have maintained for 16 years…but when you are still considered "obese" by the charts and "morbidly obese" for your height, there has to be a way. There is got to be a way to get healthy.

After 30 days…Im still on program.   If you had told me that I would be able to type that 30 days ago..I would have laughed.  I have never been in this position before EVEN after my gastric bypass..I cheated.  But today…I tell you..I am in a very wonderful place and I pray it continues.

Maybe this is suppose to be my time.  Perhaps I hit the "rock bottom" that we hear about in so many recovery programs.  Maybe…just maybe…I found the answer.

I can tell you that yesterday I ran my 65th Triathlon and did incredibly well but the big "success" of my month was the scale is down 16 pounds…and I am still on track…

God is good.  Life is good.  May I be blessed with many more days of this feeling of "Food Serenity"!